Friday, September 28, 2012

{ On Grief and Eating }

It's a very sad morning. My sweet little girl, Teddie, passed away shortly after midnight this morning. She has been with me since I picked her up almost 11 years ago when she was about 6 weeks old. She has been the absolutely sweetest little lady and my social butterfly when ever someone came over to visit. She was a tiny little thing that held a huge spot in my heart and this morning it is breaking. 

Sweet Teddie
I have lost many of my beloved 4-legged children over the years and it just never gets easier.  These little souls are my children (see my post here about how I feel about my furry kids).  In times past, I would be sad and eat and eat and eat - trying to numb the heartache and the grief.  I am choosing not to do that now.  I need to feel the pain, live with it, write about it, talk about it, BUT I can no longer stuff the sadness with food.  I just can't do it.
Teddie loved her friend Mouse (who passed away 3 years ago)
Eating may make me feel better in these moments of extreme sadness, but the feelings I am running from are still there.

Again, Teddie was a real lovebug, here with her pal Joey (who passed away last year)

In my quest to have a better relationship with food, I need to learn and practice healthier ways to deal with my emotions.  If I can't stop this vicious cycle of eating my emotions, I will continue to be unhealthy (and worse) and will become increasingly powerless over both my food and my feelings.  

My sweet Teddie was an amazing little soul who deserves to be remembered and memorialized, and eating to oblivion does not serve that purpose today.

Rest in peace, my dear baby girl....mommy loves you.

We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our 
own, live within a fragile circle;
easily and often breached. 
Unable to accept its awful gaps,
we would still live no other way. 
We cherish memory as the only
certain immortality, never fully 
understanding the necessary plan  

~Irving Townsend 
Until next time, friends, 


1 comment:

  1. Make yourself some tea, Lolly... that will be a lovely tribute to your Teddie and healthy and healing for you.